A South African present

March 5, 2010 – 6:32 pm

South African flagI frequently come across conversations where some young person is discussed and it is shared that they do not have a hope for the future. With that there are the assumptions that you should be able to see your own future and that if you only have a positive attitude then South Africa is a good place to be.

But you know what, for a lot of people it is not. They cannot match their understanding of themselves with what they see happening around them. They do not see a future for themself in this country and they are on their way to a different country. Maybe not now but in the next couple of years.

In a way we live in a South Africa that is totally different from the South Africa before 1994. But more things changed than just the colour of the government. Access to wider possibilities, to those that have the access, have taught people that in other places things can and do work differently.

Until quite recently Oslo was a very foreign place. Today I can check out the city, find a place to stay and apply for jobs in Oslo online. I can have a vibrant friend network there and know more about what is happening in downtown Oslo than the Cape waterfront.

And I can see that things are different and could be different.

My sense is that the South African change was more a process of putting another person behind the wheel than in rebuilding the vehicle. I know we have the most progressive constitution in the world. I do not see that making any difference on the ground.

I wish I was more hopeful about where we are. But if I was 22 with a higher degree and no prospects I would also be looking around.

But I am not. I am in a different place and from where I am my question is not about my future in South Africa but my present. I am in South Africa here and now. I cannot do a lot of things I would want to do. I have to do a lot of things I do not want to do.

But I have to make it work for me and my family in the present.

Too much in South Africa is done because it will eventually, maybe be good for you (or your children) ten or twenty years from now.

You know what. That sucks. It sucks for everybody and it asks for sacrifices for the greater good which nobody can promise will ever come. We need to make it work now, today. Otherwise more and more people will feel that there are no future.

By Gerhi Janse van Vuuren | Posted in Eccentric Truths, Freedom & Identity, South African thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (4)

South Africa related questions asked and answered

March 1, 2010 – 9:39 am

South African FlagI have been having a conversation with Lucas in the comment threads on my blog. Recently he came back with a number of questions. He did not say exactly why he was asking but I find the questions interesting enough to answer them anyway. So here’s my gut feel unedited first responses:

1. How do u feel about the space you occupy in the country you live in?

Physically I live in Stellenbosch which is in a sense the most un-African place in South Africa. The feeling in town is European. I am writing this drinking coffee in a street cafe and have a sense that the life style suits me. I have lived in other places in South Africa and I have not had this.

But coupled with that I also have a discomfort that this is not really what South Africa is like. Not for  the majority of people anyway. I have never lived in a shack and I have no sense what it would be like. I do not think I would cope well with it. The smallest space I’ve ever lived in was a converted garage and I’ve never had to cope with no electricity or running water.

I feel privileged. I also wish that that privilege did not have to come with a nagging sense of guilt. After sixteen years however I am not sure however how much of that guilt is mine and how much needs to be passed on to the current government.

2. Do you think some of your success is a direct result of the time you occupied in the regime you grew up in?

This depends on how you measure success. In a certain sense I am not successful. I do not have what most other people of my age and background have. Not because I could not get it but because at pivotal points I chose for other options. For example, at the end of 2000 I quit teaching to study full time. It was supposed to be a two year stint just to get a Masters but it turned out to be 5 years before I worked full time again.

I certainly had opportunities that other people did not have. I had no doubt that I would go to varsity. Money was never an issue and I had the opportunity to study for many years. But maybe I would have been better of if I had to fend for myself and do things the hard way.

The short answer to the question is yes. But define success differently and it is a no.

3. Do you think any of your success is down to the colour of your skin?

Indirectly yes. The colour of my skin placed me in a certain context growing up. The context shaped my world and my way of thinking. I see the world in a certain way because of that. And because of the way I see the world in a certain way I approach life’s problems in that way.

For example. I am not bound to traditional values in a sense that my identity depends on it. My ‘tribe’ lives in Pretoria but I had no qualms leaving them and pursuing a life somewhere else. I do not make decisions for the sake of the tribe but for my sake because I believe that my individual choices are more important that those of the community – where my own life is concerned.

I am different because I am white but other things also makes me different from other whites.

4. Is race relevant or has it ever been relevant to the way you perceive the world?

Yes it is. I think I have answered it in a sense above. I look at the world from inside myself. I am wrapped in a white skin. Yet I was born in Africa and I consider myself to be an African. I perceive the world in a certain way because I am a white African. I also perceive the world in a certain way because I am a parent, married, a varsity graduate, a trained artist, in debt, a home owner, an aspiring artist and totally uninterested in soccer.

My perspective on the world is unique and very relevant to me. Though it may not be relevant to others.

5. Why do you need to answer any of these questions?

I don’t. I choose to. Which comes down to my basic belief about the world. Whatever happens to you in this world, how you respond to it is your choice. I believe that peopla makes the best decisions that can with the information they have available. I certainly believe that I have done so.

This does not mean that everything has turned out as I liked. At some points I wish I had better information to use. But I only know that from hindsight. People take decisions in ignorance – from my perspective. In a small way I can only hope to remove some of that ignorance.

But every person chooses for themselves. And you need to take responsibility for your choices, no matter what you choose.

What are your answers to some of these questions? If you choose to answer them.

By Gerhi Janse van Vuuren | Posted in Afrikaans, Freedom & Identity, Plain and Simple | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments (3)

Getting unstuck after a day out

February 19, 2010 – 10:11 am

Now if you seriously though my advice for three days of change applied to real 24 hour days you are in for a surprise. At least I am again because I have just had two days of removing obstacles and I suspect this day is also going that direction.

In the end what you want is to be able to do the three day process in a matter of seconds.

Let me explain.

You had a couple of days where things went haywire. For myself, I caught some hayfever on Wednesday which ended up with me being unable to see out of my eyes and sneezing my brains out every five minutes. This led to an early night cause of a headache and a day that had not much effect on my writing.

Thursday I was out on site visits for art exhibitions and the rest of the day I worked on sorting out admin for these same exhibitions and not much writing happened.

This morning I had to update a website and help my wife format a document and after more than two days I do not feel much like a writer. But I know today is a day I must write again otherwise I will begin to get antsy so I have to re-establish my writer identity.

And therefore I need to switch over in (you guessed it) 3 easy steps:

  1. Decide to be a writer by deciding that even though I do not feel like it, that is the role I’m going to play right now.
  2. Remove all obstacles by realising that everything that I don’t do now will still be there to be done when I’m done writing (and the world won’t come to an end if I don’t do them immediately)
  3. And then write, which is why I’m going offline now, pulling out my work in progress and make some doggone progress with it.

You see, it can take three days, three weeks, or three seconds but whatever it must get to writing.

By Gerhi Janse van Vuuren | Posted in Writing, Writing like a pro | Tagged , , , , | Comments (0)

How to become a successful writer in just three days

February 17, 2010 – 8:53 am

This thing about writing being difficult is whole lot of malarkey. I can show you how to become a successful writer in just three days. I’ve done it and if I can do it anybody can.

Ready? Here goes.

Day 1: Decide to be a writer

That’s it. You’ve done enough for the day. Go take a nap.

Okay, still here? One life altering decision a day not enough for you? Let’s clarify the decision.

If you decide to be a writer you get a whole package of things heaped on the side for free. You get to spend a whole lot of time with yourself, which also means you sink your social life. Your social relations will consist of a bunch of fictional people and you will spend your days thinking up ways to torment them viciously.

You also decide to give up a whole lot of other things. Forget about becoming a professional white water rafter. Your manuscript pages will get wet. Forget about becoming a boxer. Typing is notoriously difficult with bandaged hands. Who knows what else you may give up, but believe me you need to give up most of what will make you a balanced person.

You cannot be balanced and a successful writer. Forget it. Be unbalanced and make peace with it.

You may also give up coffee, alcahol, sleep and sunlight but it won’t all happen in one day. That’s why I urge you take that nap now. You will need the sleep later.

Day 2: Remove all obstacles that prevent you from being a writer

Farm out the kids, quit your job, divorce your wife, shoot the dog. Remove anything that may distract you from actually writing.

Back just a moment. Don’t divorce your wife yet, you need somebody to cook and clean and make you food and earn a living (especailly since you quit your job).

But anything else. That broken window pane you have to replace? Brick up the hole in the wall. That civil war wardrobe you are restoring? Chop it into pieces and set it alight. That camping trip you promised the kids? Put up a tent in the back yard and lock them out of the house.

Anything else that needs doing that you feel you have to do before you can write, do it now. Getting that degree? Find that dubious website and pay the 20 000 and let them send you a diploma. You need every possible moment free.

Day 3: Write

What are you waiting for, go write. What did you think successful writers do? They write of course. Why aren’t you successful yet? Because you are not writing. Come on, you made the decision, you removed all the distractions, now go write.

Still here? Then I can’t help you. You will never be a successful writer like me.

Every day after

Repeat Day 3. Never stop, just keep repeating Day 3. If you find yourself continuously repeating Day 1 then maybe there is something else you would rather do, something that you do not want to give up.

If you keep repeating Day 2 you are stalling and making excuses. There will always be distractions. You will never have a perfectly clear schedule. Life happens.

If you want to be a writer, and if you want to be successful you need to write.

Clear? Easy enough for you?

By Gerhi Janse van Vuuren | Posted in To write a book, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments (3)

All the arts are not equal

February 16, 2010 – 8:30 pm
Untitled (stars and insect creatures)

Gerhi Janse van Vuuren, Untitled (stars and insect creatures), 2003, Dry and oil pastel on cartridge paper

It might come as a surprise to some people but some decisions, even if they are good decisions that took a lot of careful examination and deliberation, need to be taken a number of times before they stick.

I just came to the decision (again) today that I will no longer pursue a career as a painter but will focus on a career as a writer. But I don’t want to write about why we have to make good decisions again and again, though it sounds like a good topic I should write about.

I want to tell you what is the difference between writing and painting (for me) – and that will probably give you an idea why I have been making the decision over and over again.

Comparing writing and painting

  1. Writing can be done almost anywhere. You need a piece of paper and a pencil though I have set myself up with a MacBook. Painting requires a specific studio space set up. You can do painting on site but it still takes more than what most people would carry around anyway.
  2. Painting is immediate. Particularly the way I paint. The results are achieved fast and the finished product is reached in a limited number of hours. Writing takes longer. Even if you get a book done it will be a couple of months before it gets published (at the best of times). The final product may take years to achieve.
  3. Painting is immediately sellable, one at a time. I can’t sell a book one page at a time.
  4. Painting is limited by time and space. If I have the painting here you can’t have it there. Once a book is published it can be anywhere. A hundred people can read exactly the same book at a hundred different times in a hundred different locations.
  5. Writing is democratic. Because anybody can own a book, or even take it out for free from the library it is difficult to block access. Once a book is out there you can somehow get hold of a copy, even when somebody else has a copy. If a private collector has a painting it can be locked in a vault and never be seen again.
  6. Painting is physical, writing is ephereal. The artwork of the writing is not in any one of the books but in the ideas embodied by the words printed in the book. The painting is the artwork, it is the object and it is physical.
  7. Writing is timeless, painting is time bound. From the moment a painting is finished it starts deteriorating. It can only be restored in future and sometimes not even that. If a book is old you can print a new copy on brand new paper because the work is not the ink on paper.
  8. Painting creates clutter like writing does not. Not only is a painting a physical object (clutter depending on your perspective) the whole creation of painting require paraphernalia that in itself can become clutter – clutter that can be downright toxic. It creating a book it takes very little and even when produced it can be pulped and recycled.
  9. Both writing and painting take time to learn and time to get good enough at to make professionally, never mind make at any exceptional level.

So much for seemingly obvious differences and similarities. Personally there is for me very big differences between writing and painting.

I have made a huge time, economic and educational investment into painting. I have a Fine Art degree, a Post Graduate Diploma in Fine Art and a Art Teaching Diploma. I have taught art for many years and I worked as an education officer at an Art Museum. I have participated in a number of art exhibitions.

As to writing, I have squat. I have never studied writing. I’ve failed English first year at varsity. I have never had anything published and I have never sold a piece of writing.

Yet writing is the one that I want to do and painting is the distraction. Painting for me is heavy, writing is light. Writing is the road, painting is the detour.

By Gerhi Janse van Vuuren | Posted in Fiction Writing, To write a book, Writing | Tagged , , , , | Comments (0)