Are you a cat person or a dog?

Grizzle & Bone 2011 cover
The 2011 version of a cover I have redesigned half a dozen times since because I can’t make up my mind

Did you see what I did with that question? I asked you not if you are dog person but if you are a dog? Does it destroy the funny when I started explaining the joke? or was it not funny because I am hurting your feeling?

Don’t you just love dichotomies? I don’t. I prefer that there be at least seven different options to choose from and that none of them has any value attached to them. Sweet or sour? Intro or extrovert? Screaming lunatic or only sane man on the planet? Man or woman? Or no man?

Maybe I just hate making choices? How do you decide things?

Are you making progress?

Or did you forget to draw a line in the sand that you can look back to and see how far you have come?

Going in circles don't make progressMaybe you have not gone that far at all. It happens if you nail one foot to the ground and then keep on trudging in circles. Have you worn a groove in the ground yet?

Then maybe you are just not making the effort. Try it. Making an effort. But don’t get stuck on that. Everything is not supposed to be an effort. Except most things. They tend to be an effort.

Did you get that I’m going in circles here?

Are you bothered much?

Because it seems as if people that aren’t bothered much has an easier time at it. Or are they just slackers because everybody else has to pick up the worrying on their behalf?

bothered by the clockWhen do you start getting worried? When the clouds start gathering? When the first drops fall? When it pisses down? When the dam breaks? When the house floods with sludge and muck? Or not even then?

If you are not bothered what gets you up in the morning? It might be birdsong. Or an alarm clock. But if you’re not bothered at all your snooze button may be worn out.

Should you bother at all?

Making something old new

I have a story that I have republished with at least half a dozen covers. Call it my cover experimentation story. I have just redone a new cover for it.

Grizzle & Bone cover June 2017
A newly minted cover for Grizzle & Bone (soon to be republished)

This time not because I didn’t like the previous cover but because I’m shedding my pseudonym (Gerhi Feuren) and moving all my stuff to be published under my own name (Gerhi Janse van Vuuren). It is a consolidation exercise aimed at simplifying my world somewhat. I don’t think it is going to do that though.

Doesn’t matter. I’m happy working in obscurity still and will continue to do so. I’m not intending to brand my re-covered story covers or even to do them any good for whatever genre, style or secret code they are supposed to be managed by.

I’m just doing them because to get them done. Do you ever do things completely your own bloody way just for the hell of it?

Do you sometimes just forget?

My grandfather never forgot to milk the cows. Maybe because if he did they would have become engorged and then explode. Have you ever seen an exploded cow? Have you ever seen an exploded anything?

kitchen utensils
Are these dirty in the sink or shiny in the cupboard?

My stuff don’t go moo. They quietly go sit in the corner and sulk and die if I forget them. Or they become toxic ghosts of days past that gnaw away at my nerves. And still I forget.

I never do everything I want to do. I don’t even do everything I have to do. Or should do, or must do or not do. Is there anybody that does?

Do you manage to do everything?

When last did you walk into a wall?

Or don’t you do enough walking in the dark? Because if you don’t dawdle into the unknown you have little chance dumping over the edge.

Brick wall up close
Not this kind of brick wall

What I mean is, do you manage to get to the end of yourself? Because it is not nice to know you have ends. Being blissfully convinced that you can do anything you set your mind to is a precious kind of ignorance. Do you do enough to rid yourself of this delusion.

I thought I didn’t and I still fumbled hard into the brickness making me thinks my ends have moved closer to the middle of me.

Do you have any idea what I meant with that last sentence?

Where do you start unstucking the bus?

Is your bus also broken down somewhere between Never-been-there and Even-the-rats-are-lost?

Old cover for Grizzle & Bone
Old cover for Grizzle & Bone under nom de plume Gerhi Feuren soon to be re-published as Gerhi Janse van Vuuren

I got something cool going a fair number of years ago and really put a good effort into it and then time; money; got to eat; kids have to have clothes for school and what could’a/should’a grown ended up in a ditch covered in bird poop and sludge and the little brittle wings of the dead fairies of hope and smiles.

Okay, maybe it wasn’t quite a bus. Maybe it was more a bicycle, with training wheels. But it is still rusted and stuck and I’m trying to push it out. It is slow going.

Where are you stuck?

Do you like your name?

Or is there another reason why you use some generic version of a film star name crossed with a obscure toadstool class description?

Domain registration expired notice
This is not the name I’m going under any more

I have been nom de pluming since I published my first short story because I thought I needed something short and snazzy. I have decided since to write and publish and make using the name I use for most else and be damn the rest of the world if it is long, unwieldy, unpronounceable and long.

That’s why I’m letting a url (gerhifeuren.com) go, floating away in the aether like a pink bottle with no message in it. Goodbye you pretentious and even more unpronounceable but short and punchy moniker.

What name do you use when you commit stuff?

Three birds at the front door

I like it when things happen on top of each other. A kind of synchronicity to things. Rain starting at the same time as an exam. Light turning green just as you down-gear. Ideas bubbling up when work is at the most hectic.

Normal stuff sort of. Stuff that happens randomly if you don’t connect the dots. With divine plan if you storify the whole thing in hindsight.

wooden birds

Random picture for today. The wooden birds that hang at our front door. They were there when we moved in and will probably stay there when we move out. We are renting. Renting a place we got through divine providence.

Or accident. Your choice.

If not here, where? If not now, when?

Another cryptic heading because I am not intending to tax myself with trying to create things with phrases that Google might like or some other arbitrary hamster driven reason. This is my blog where I want to post things that I write firstly for the reason of having somewhere to post it. If somebody might find it and read it, bonus.

Which is why I am firstly simplifying a lot of what is happening here. I’m taking away categories for instance. And I’ve removed the newsletter subscription form. I have no desire to start a newsletter so I’m not even entertaining the idea with trying to entice people to sign up. If you want to get notices via email to can sign up to updates direct from the site. Automated and easy and I don’t have to do squat.

So, what now?

I intend to revive my blog. Meaning that I want to use it to its full extent, as a blog. Possibly and aiming to post daily. Please not that I do not say write daily, I said post daily. Meaning that sometimes I will write and post as I go, like this post that is going to be posted just after I’ve written it, with a slight time delay.

Or, I am going to dig stuff I have written and have posted on other blogs and previous incarnations of this blog, dust of those posts and post them, on a scheduled basis.

Or, I am going to sit down for a day and write a bunch of posts and schedule them ahead.

Or, I am going to use some secret formula to pull posts out of thin air and then have them magically appear on my site. This requires ginger, battery acid and a skinny cat and at the moment our cat is too fat.

But what I am going to do to fill out the daily schedule is to take whatever I write and schedule it on a specific day of the week some time in the future for the next twenty weeks. Then I’m going to, when I get to this again, take another day of the week and schedule posts for that day, ten weeks into the future. Rinse and repeat until I have a post every day for ten weeks into the future and then let’s see what happens.

So, why am I telling you this?

I’m not. I’m telling it to myself because what my blog firstly is for is to put my thinking outside myself that I can have a look at it. And some of that thinking is wishful thinking in terms of what I am able to do. Or, in other words, planning and goal setting.

In summary then, this blog is my writing/thinking space. Your welcome to tag along but I’m not doing this specifically to build a readership, blog a book or sell anything. I am just thinking out loud.